Life in the Durst Home

So again as I was driving to my Dr’s appointment today I thought of a wonderful post to share with you, but once I sit down to write my mind goes blank. Hopefully I will be able to share all that I should.

As you all know from reading past posts Devun choose to do Joseph Smith for his first person Report. I have been helping him which has cause a great deal of learning on my part. In all the excitement of my learning I would share with my neighbor Joe, which I have grown to love….

He is this seventy-five year old man, pretty sure I have written about him in the past. He does so much good service to us and our neighbors. I have often thought he would be a great member of the church because he lives to serve. He however was raised Catholic and attends services each week…. But as he says is always open for discussion on the topic..

As I said I would share my findings with him, and he would ask questions we would talk about it, I would tell him how I felt etc…

as read in the scriptures with great learning comes doubt, and Joe through a lot of doubt in my direction. He went on the internet and typed in Joseph Smith. Of course when you read someone else’s thoughts on Joseph and not what the church puts out the writer has a way of twisting words and making him sound like a man who I am sure  he wasn’t! The writer will use truths and twist the story and add some fun little lies in between… ….

At first I told Joe what he read wasn’t true, but then speaking with missionaries I found out there was some truth to his finding..

I don’t want to say I questioned my faith, because I have had so many spiritual experiences that if I did doubt the church was true I would have to deny those experiences which I can’t for I know that they are true. And that they DID happen… And why would they happen if it wasn’t angles ministering it to me? They won’t…

But I still needed to gain answers for myself. I didn’t want to be blindsided again when a neighbor or a friend would ask me a question and not know the answer. So

I got online at Seagull books and ordered a tone of books. I ordered the Series Setting the Record Straight.. Joseph Smith, Emma SMith, Mormons and Polygamy I also got Joseph Smith papers… Which is his journal and letters he wrote to Emma etc..But  my Favorite book so far is the United by Faith. It is a  book about all of Joseph’s Mom and Dad &brothers and sisters & their life before and after the vision and how the church effected their growth. It was written with Lucy’s Mack’s journals….It’s amazing the trials and conflicts this one family went through, and the spirit that was felt in their home. I know that the lord was preparing them, and showing them through their personal trails how strong they really were as a family and individually. Reading about dreams they had before Joseph had seen the vision, and the account of their faith in the lord. How Joseph’s fathers new for himself  that the correct church was not on the earth and won’t go to a church because he knew the teachings were not all correct.

I am still reading the book united by faith. But I finished the other three. And what I have learned is the following:

Joseph who is just a man like all of us was far from perfect, for we know that no one is perfect on this earth. I do believe that he spoke with Heavenly Father, and I do believe that he restored Jesus Christ true Church, and that the priesthood is on the earth today! I know that he loved Emma with all of his heart and soul and would do nothing to hurt her. He also did everything that the lord told him to do, for he feared the lord more than man. I know that he under went a ton of persecution, and pain in his short life. I also know that Joseph was a very Unselfish person. At one point in his life he had the homeless living in his very own home while him and his wife slept outside in a tent. I know that Emma and Joseph fed and clothed the poor. And he really loved his fellow-man…

I do not know all that I would like to know, but the lord has shown me what I needed to know. Now I just need to remember all the convents that I made with him. Teach my children the truth and continue to grow~

I am sure you already know that I am Marissa’s room mom for her classroom this year… Her holiday party was today and I think it went really well… We did a frame craft (I took pictures of the kids with their friend(s) and then developed them before the party) and then they had cookies & hot Chocolate and socialized with each other. It was only a forty-five minute party but the kids seemed to have a great time.

I had Aubrey and Sammy… Aubrey was pretty cute, she sat next to Marissa the whole time doing the craft with her.. Taking it all in! Sammy on the other hand was a ham! He was loud and wanted to rule the show… The next party will be at the end of the year, I will be getting a babysitter for Sam, Aubrey can come with me!

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Then I went to Devun’s parent teacher Conf. Devun is doing just as well as the other three kids. His weakness is still reading and understanding what he read…

I had him read out loud to me for thirty minutes and then tell me what he read. HE did SUPER well! He just has to be told to read because he hasn’t found a book that he REALLY LIKES… When he read the wimpy kid diary he couldn’t put the books down.. Captain under pants too… Do you have any ideas of what he would read and enjoy?  The teacher said he is a GREAT student! He pays attention in class and is eager to learn. He said if he keeps it up he will have zero problems…  Devun is in a play tomorrow nite at school. He sings a rap solo and is super CUTE…  His teacher and I are very proud of him, cause he normally is shy… This year he is really coming out of his shell…..

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I then came home and made a really good dinner…. We went and did our 12 days of Christmas..

Today was honey shaped as a bear, and it said we beary think you are sweet! and then I put some California Cornbread in a bag for them to cook on their own… The saying said ” don’t think we are Corny, we just really like you!”  Aubrey was so excited today cause she was able to do our cross the street neighbor… She ran over their put the bag on the ground rang the bell then ran across the street as fast as she could. We she got in the house, she was huffing and puffing saying I did it mom, all by myself, Ava didn’t help me! I want to do it again….. (yes I was outside with her while she crossed the street, she just didn’t talk till the door was closed.)

Sammy is not sure he likes ding dong ditching… Everytime one of the kids get’s out of the car Sammy starts Screaming NO, NO and cries the child’s name… He doesn’t stop crying until they come back. He doesn’t understand that we have to be quite!

I came home and really for the first time today I am sitting down relaxing while typing… I have so much I want to say, but I am out of practice  typing.. SO work with me!

Last night was Ava & Marissa Ballet recital… I really need to download photos, as soon as I get some free time with Anthony’s Computer… He is on it right now too….

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I have started my holiday baking… I haven’t given it out yet to friends and family, I am just trying to “remember” how to bake… The kids are all out of school next week, so look for us then….. It’s almost 8 more days till Christmas. I think I am more excited than my kids. Anthony and I got them things they are clueless about, this is the first year that I didn’t put their gifts under the tree….. We have cousins, aunts, uncles & grandparents gifts under the tree and the kids gifts they get to open xmas eve (pjs) but other than that they don’t have any clue on how many they are getting, and I love it… I only wish I had a place to put them all so they are not in my room awaiting christmas eve… Like my garage!

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My mom has been calling me, she is in a halfway house now awaiting court next friday. She is able to call on a cell phone and work and basically do what ever, it’s like being on house arrest I guess…. I pray for her that she will change and she hopes to be home next year at Christmas…

After reading my scriptures a ton I am  not to worried about her, I am pretty sure we will have more time to grow and get out act together on the other side.

I love my Savior so much! No matter what we do he still has his hand stretched down to us as long as we repent and ask for forgiveness…… I know that he lives, and loves all of us.

I love the spirit, I feel peace and love almost all the time…. I was talking to my aunt a few days ago on the phone. I always say I wish I could share my experiences and faith with others, and she said its like the ten virgins and their oil lamps… They couldn’t take their oil and share with others even though they wanted to.  I get that, I want to share so badly, but it’s up to others to be prepared and fill their lamps… I can certainly share my testimony, which I have! I know that the church was restored in this dispensation, we have a Prophet on the earth that only guides us to do good works and bring peace and happiness to our life’s. I am grateful for Eternal Families!

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I am grateful I can be a stay at home mom, and be involved in my kids extra activities and school… Yes I am working in the classroom a lot, but I like going to the school and everyone knowing who I am. I know that my kids our safe!

YES, It’s hard being at the baseball fields for hours with small children that just want to be at home, but I have noticed that my older children’s confidence have boasted so much from playing sports and getting support from Anthony and I!

I have also noticed with my older children, time goes by toooooooo fast, and kids only want you around when they are younger…. I can honestly say that I have joy in my posterity, I just wish that I would have been more patient and
understanding with my first two! My last two however have it pretty easy, too easy most days!

Anyways that is basically all I have for you tonight people. I don’t even know who reads this, but I hope you know…

1. I am nowhere near perfect, I don’t think I am perfect, I will never be perfect.

But I try, I do things that make me happy… A friend gave a talk at Church on Sunday and said Talents are things we have to work at… Cooking, baking talent… I am learning and gaining a talent in cooking… Teacher and understand english, math social studys is a talent… We learn and grow to understand….

I have decided to grow my talents as a mother, to do my best to rear my kids toward peace and happiness….

I am in no way better than anyone else. If I can change you can change.. It hasn’t happened on its own. it takes practice and patience. I am being a better mom, and growing my talents! everybody’s circumstances are different and if we are trying our best that is all that matters!

In the Bible Amos Chapter 8 verse 11 & 12 read:

Behold, the days come, saith the lord God, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the Lord;

And they shall wander from sea to sea, and from the north even to the east, they shall run to and fro to see the word of the Lord, and shall NOT find it..

(We believe that when Peter, James and John died the Saviors Priesthood died off with them)

in the 1800′s there was a great number of religions. All reading from the same book (bible) but understanding it differently… Joseph Smith wanted to know which church he should join. He had attended a lot  of them and was afraid of damnation for chosing the wrong one. So one night after reading James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God.

Joseph knew he needed to pray to find out  which Church was true. So he went to a Grove and knelt down to pray, That is when he saw the father and the Son.. “This is my beloved son, hear him” The father said to Joseph in reference to the Savior. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ Appeared to Joseph Smith and told him not to Join any of the Church’s. Joseph Smith was Called as a Prophet and restored the true Church of Jesus Christ to the earth today known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have the Priesthood, and I have been blessed to have my Husband, Anthony a  worthy Priesthood holder to give me and my children Blessing in times of illness, as well as family and friends. I have seen wonderful miracles from Priesthood blessings. I know that The Church has been restore in its fullness. I know that I have been baptized and have received the Holy Ghost as my companion. I have felt him guide me, and I love this feeling of comfort. I wish I could share it with all of you.

So this Christmas Season, I ask you to do as Joseph did. Pray to our lord and ask him, with Faith having a real desire to know the truth… If any of you want a Copy of The book of Mormon Please feel free to ask. I have a few I would LOVE to give away…

I want to end this post with my testimony that I know God lives, and that he loves me. He is the Same God Today, Yesterday and Forever. I believe in Prophets, Seers and  in modern revelation. I have had tons of personal revelation experiences that have help me to know how much the lord does love us all. He is always here for us, we just need to soften our hearts and ask for his help. To ask for the truth, I know the spirit will testify the truth unto us. I am grateful for Joseph Smith. He was treated Horribly for what he saw and taught. He was killed for it. He was tar and fathered and went to church the very next day like nothing was wrong! He was brave!  I am grateful for my family and all the blessings the lord has given to us. I am forever in his debt!

For those of you that don’t know Anthony is the Preach my Gospel Sunday School Teacher at Church. I have been able to attend his class now for a few months. I have seen and heard wonderful things, and am so grateful for him in my life! If anyone wants to hear him teach, just let us know! He teaches every other Sunday at 2:15… The time will Change in January~

I just felt that I needed to share this with you all, I don’t know who reads this but I do know that the lord loves us all, and he does answer prayers. He has answered mine so many times. They aren’t always how I want them to be answered but I know he hears us! And LOVES US!

Amen~

I can’t sleep, I really feel like I need to post this, but I am not sure why.

Today at church Anthony and I had the opportunity to speak in Sacrament meeting.

I am going to share my talk with you, but first I ask that you please do not judge me for my grammar and spelling errors. We all know that I am far from knowledgeable in the English language.

I was given the topic of Miracles. I looked up Miracles in the Bible Dictionary, and this is some info I found related to my story. An important element in the work of Jesus Christ, being not only divine acts, but forming also a part of the divine teaching. Christianity is founded on the greatest of all miracles, the resurrection of our Lord. If that be admitted, other miracles cease to be improbable Miracles were and are a response to faith, and its best encouragement. They were never wrought without prayer, felt need, and faith. It is important to notice the different names by which miracles are described. They are called signs, as being visible tokens of an invisible power; they are powers or mighty works, because they are the acts of One who is almighty; they are simply works, or the natural results of the Messiah’s presence among men; they are wonders, marvels, because of the effect produced on those who saw them. For most of you that personal know Anthony and I, know that we have received plenty of Miracles in our Marriage over the past five years. For those of you who don’t know I will share a little about our life. I was born and raised by my Grandparents in the Clayton Valley 1st ward. I attended High School at Concord High, and my sophomore year I met Anthony. I am a perfect example of “You marry who you date”. Anthony and I got married about a year after high school. We moved to Utah very shortly after.….. I was semi active for the first years of marriage. But being a one member mom church was too hard for me to attend alone. A mistake I realize now. We moved back to CA and back into the Clayton Valley 1st ward when I was eight months pregnant with Zack, Still not knowing what I was missing, and not wanting to come to church alone I didn’t. I guess it wasn’t until Zack was born; I had really bad Post Partum Depression. I remember crying to my grandmother and really had nothing to cry for; she told me I needed to go back to church. I didn’t argue with her, I just thought about it. Was she right? But still I did nothing about it. Miracles started to happen a few months later. David Nelson came knocking at my door. He didn’t push like the others had. He was a friend I felt comfortable with; we grew up in this ward together. He invited me to church, and also offered him and Kendra to help with the small kids during Sacrament. And even though I was nervous I decided to give it a try. I remember sitting in Sunday school and sister Panick was giving the lesson. I don’t remember what the lesson was about, but I do remember the comment she made and my whole body being filled with the spirit telling me it was true. After that experience I new I could no longer doubt the church, or even no longer not attend. I started to attend weekly; Devun Marissa and I would pray every night that Daddies heart would be soften as well. Anthony was a little stubborn before he joined the church. He wouldn’t go to any activities, David asked if he wanted to play basketball at night with the men, and he turned that down… (Which by the way I can’t keep him away from now). But Anthony is a very sweet person, and loves his family more then anything else on this earth. And Heavenly father new that! I am a strong believer that trials soften our hearts and increase our faith. Which then increases Miracles? This is about when in my story the Trails began. Marissa was having a horrible time in Nursery. She would cry so hard that she would make herself throw up. I wanted to go to my classes and learn so I asked Anthony if he would give up his Sunday morning golf time with his dad and just go to Nursery with Marissa. He wouldn’t have to go to Sacrament meeting. Just show up after and hang out with Marissa in the Nursery. Anthony new how much I wanted the kids to be a part of the church, and I was lucky enough to have him respect that. He did come to church and hang out with Marissa and after two weeks of going the Missionary’s cornered him and asked if they could come over for a visit. Anthony didn’t have a problem feeding them. So we did that. Once a week. 1st Miracle- Missionaries invited into my home One night we had them over for Spaghetti. I will always remember this night, I was being far too pushy, and in front of the missionaries I kind of cornered Anthony and asked him to take the lessons. (Already knowing that he didn’t want to do this). He yelled at me, and told me I needed to decide what I wanted to do, before I started to push him. Zack then through up spaghetti everywhere and dinner was over. Those missionaries didn’t come back. But that is when I realized he was right. I new what I wanted, but due to my lack of faith in the past I needed to work on my own spiritual growth, before I started to push him into his! So I continued to pray with the kids at every meal, before bed. I read scriptures every night, some nights I would get him involved by asking questions about what I had read, and we would get into biblical discussions. Anthony still was coming to church with Marissa, But Trail # 2 came Financial Problems >>> The church helped us out more then either he or I could believe. We where both very thankful. I know that this softened his heart even more. He couldn’t understand why they would help us, with him not being a member of the church. I remember driving during all this stress wondering if Anthony was ever going to join the church maybe I was losing patients I am not sure, but I know that day the Lord step in and took over. I was driving home from Stockton. Returning my grandmother to my mother’s house. I trip I took twice a week for a few years. A voice said loud as day that Anthony was going to join the church. I looked in the back of the car, and it was only Marissa and Zack ….. Like what was going on?? When I realized after a few seconds what had just happened you couldn’t pry the smile off my face. It was the happiest day of my life. I sat there pondering what had just happened, then I had an urgent feeling I needed to go to the Church book store. So I went thinking I needed to by a book of Mormon for him to read. But while I was their I felt impressed to buy the First Vision. So I bought both. I was a little conniving and had Devun and Marissa watch the movie before Anthony came home from work. Devun loved it, and begged Anthony to watch it. He did of course…Anthony will do What ever the kids ask of him. Anthony watched the movie- And I know he felt something watching it because right after Devun gave him a present… The Book of Mormon

 all wrapped up in Christmas rapping paper. By this time it is early December. For the first time he said he would read it, and he started that night. I remember him falling asleep at the kitchen table as he studied it. However he still didn’t want the missionary lessons… Miracle #3 The Bishop was meeting with one member family for the Christmas season. He came to our house for that visit. Anthony was about a week or two into the book of Mormon, and he had a ton of Questions. Bishop Christenson asked him if the missionaries could come over once a week, just to answer any questions that he may have. Anthony agreed. Having the missionaries in our home every week really brought a sweet spirit… They loved us and wanted to best for our family. We loved them and the became part of our family. I remember one night Elder Grow was making fun of me for bible dipping…. You pray for a reason and then open the bible and the first thing you read is your answer. I didn’t do it a lot, but His mom did and he was trying to wing me from doing it. I don’t know why we had that conversation, but Anthony decided that night he was going to try it. After I went to bed, he prayed and asked if the church was true. He then opened his scriptures and received his answers. As many of you remember he came to church that Sunday and bore is testimony asking to be “Sign UP” in his popular words. That next week he was baptized, and a year a half later we were sealed in the temple. The Miracles in our home have been great. I know that Heavenly Father WANTS to bless us. He wants to give us everything he can. He just wants us to have faith in him and his Son. Over the last three years we have had our ups and downs. But when we have faith everything always seems to work out. We have been blessed with food showing up at our door, when we had nothing to eat, bills being paid when there has been no money to pay them… Christmas presents at our door when we have had little to offer our children. Miracles- Written in the 1992 Encyclopedia of the Mormonism reads- God desires to bless his children, and sometimes does so in ways that require the manifestation of extraordinary power. He is restrained only by their lack of faith. Thus, the absence of miracles is evidence of the lack of faith among his children, (Moro. 7:37). “for it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief, and all is vain” (Ether 12:12).”For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them” I know that Modern Miracles happen. I know that Jesus is the Son of God, and he came here for me! Joseph smith did restore the Gospel on this earth. And I am so thankful for them! I am thankful for my beautiful family. I am so thankful for my husband and all he does for our family. I am so thankful for all the missionaries that give up two years of their life’s to teach and bring members to the church. I am so thankful for Bishop Carter, I know that he loves are family, and wants the best for us. I am thankful for all of you brothers and sister. You are my family, you help us more then you will ever know. I know that God lives and loves us all.

I know that this sounds pretty corny…

However I was in the car at a stop light; looking out the window at the beautiful sky, and The H.S Musical sound track was on… “We are all in this together”.

Tears filled my eyes as I listen to these simple words, and put life into perspective…

Everyone is special in their own way

We make each other strong

We’re not the same

We’re different in a good way

Together is where we belong

We’re all in this together

Once we know, that we are

We’re all stars and we see that

We’re are in this together

And it shows when we stand

Hand in hand, make our dreams

Come true.

Everyone on earth is here for one reason, and we may or may not know that we picked this …. We are all here to have earthly experiences. To love our neighbors; friends, teachers, brothers & sisters, ECT… We are all here to help each other out, to sever one another, When we work together we are STRONG…. Our father in heaven loves ALL of US, and Wants ALL of us to return… We are here to teach those that don’t know the plan of salvation. Those people who don’t know Jesus Christ Atone for ALL MAN KIND…

He loves us all, and no matter our failures in life, if we reach for him he will stretch out his hand, he is waiting for us to come unto him! We are all stars to him; he suffered for ALL of us, because he loves all of us!

Anyways that was my experience today, as I was driving home for Sam’s club… Thankful that I didn’t go over our food budget for this week, and still was able to buy everything we needed (and a little extra)!

I am not perfect; I am the furthest thing from perfect….

But The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is perfect, not everyone can follow all the teachings and principals. God gives us this test and challenges to grow and to learn wisdom and gain knowledge… (Those are the only things we can take back with us when we get to heaven) and if we follow his way, we will be THE MOST HAPPIEST that we can be here on this earth at this time.

So last night I was waiting for Anthony to get home from Basket Ball, and there was nothing on TV, so I decided to watch the BYU channel…

(I just wanted to share that with you)

By the way, I have never watched the BYU channel before, and I only recently got the channel when I switched to AT&T, (and that was a little miracle to me too)

Back to my story:

I missed most of the discussion, but it was like I turned it on to hear what I need to hear.

The men were talking about 2Nephi. It was so interesting for me to hear there feelings on the scriptures and people today.

One man made a comment that LDS people sin everyday, but the difference between us and society is we try not to sin, and are very remorseful after we have sinned!

After my comment on gossiping, and feeling so bad about for giving in to temptation, it was nice to hear them remind me, no one is perfect. But as long as you try to do better each day, and you are truly sadden for what you have done you will be forgiven.

They were talking about what are a broken heart and a contrite spirit!

And they said to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; you must want to do WHAT Ever you can or what ever you are told to do, to be able to repent.

Examples they said was 100% visiting teaching or home teaching, going to church every Sunday, doing your best in your calling, and just humbling yourself!

I really needed to hear this last night, I just think it is so amazing how when you are suffering with something Heavenly father will give you the answers that you are looking for, either through scriptures, someone’s lesson at church, Conference, or just a friend sharing feelings… He inspires people and always holds his hand out for you when YOU are ready to come back to him!

I love this church; I love my family, I LOVE OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST! I am so thankful for the atonement, and to be able to TRY, (key word) Try to do MY BEST.

Heavenly father loves us all, he gives us all trails so we can learn and grow from them… Like Emma Smith (and others have said) we often don’t learn the lesson on the 1^st try, and he will give us the same trail again, and again! He is giving us these trails so WE can grow spiritually, and I love him for it! With out my trails I would not be the person I am today, and all though I am far from perfect, I like who I am becoming.(most of the time)

I just finished watching the Emma Smith Story, not really knowing much about Emma Smith; I really enjoyed watching this movie, I feel like I needed to watch it,  I just couldn’t stop crying! She went through sooooooooo many trails and had so many tribulations, yet she stood strong, and faithful. She had such GREAT faith in the lord, and a deep love for her husband Joseph Smith…..

Often more times then not when I have a trail I need to go through I just can’t seem to make it all the way. I always get frustrated and lose my patients… I need lots of blessing of comfort and reassurance, due to lack of faith. However Emma explained that we often times we face our same trail over and over again so we can learn from them fully, I know that I NEVER get things on the first tri, we go through the same trail over and over… Hopefully this time we will get it!

I don’t know if you haven’t seen it, watch it… You will feel like your trails are not anything to complain about. I just have this deep love for her know. She was so strong, so brave, and so kind.

Tonight the YW & YM got to go to the temple for baptisms. It was so nice to be able to be there and feel the peaceful feeling that the temple brings. The only thing that was missing was Anthony there with me.

I had this over whelming peaceful feeling that I am raising my children to have good morals, to be leaders and teachers to this world. My children are going to be able to hopefully rise above the adversary and his temptations and have a happier more enriched life. There are good choices and bad choices everywhere. I am so glad that I have the first hand knowledge of what happens when you make bad choices… I get to show and teach my children through my own experience, and the experiences of family members what NOT to do!.

I am so thankful that this gospel teaches and directs us to make good choices that help us to be better Youth, Adults and most of all Parents!