Life in the Durst Home

Wow, I got a lot done today… The nesting stage must be kicking in… Or the fact that I just can’t handle my messy house anymore!

I got the kitchen cleaned, moped, and even pulled out the table to make sure it looked nice.. All the laundry folded and put away… The play room clean.. Really clean & of course the front room that we try to keep looking nice, just incase someone stops by… I got my room cleaned. I cut Sam & Zack’s hair..

This morning I got up knowing I need to start walking.. So I took Aubrey & Sam to the local park.. We walked there and back. I am so proud of myself.. I haven’t done something like this in a long time.. Poor Aubrey kept asking, and I would always say When the baby comes.. I had very little to NO energy the first half of the pregnancy.. Or I should say the WHOLE pregnancy up until this past few weeks….

I have to keep telling myself, “it’s not going to be too much longer, you aren’t going to be pregnant forever”. But I feel like I have been pregnancy forever. I really haven’t been able to enjoy much of this pregnancies.. I have had major issues from depression, bad dreams, pain every where, no energy, mess house..

The past few nights I have been getting pretty painful false labor… I know its doing something. I can’t wait to go to the Dr friday and see if I have made any progress… Just a little will make me feel better… I have been in such pain when I stand, due to all the pressure.. And then the contractions.. Oh I am so done being pregnant..

I can’t wait to be able to hold my baby! To get some sleep at night, to be able to stand in one place and cook… To be able to keep my house clean, and to have the energy to take the kids to the park and on walks… Oh and to get back on my meds and back to the gym…

I also really need to start doing daycare again… Just when things start looking up and we can pay some bills, I fell like we get slapped in the face with something else.. I need to help my husband. He has so much pressure and stress on his shoulders. I want to be able to take a little stress away!

We have been without a house phone for about 2 weeks… Anthony washed it in the washing machine when Sam threw up all over our bedding… I finally was able to go and buy a phone yesterday.. Checked my messages and then wished I hadn’t..

The landlord called 3 times.. I tried to call her back today. But haven’t spoken to her yet.. Oh I really hope that they don’t decided to sell this house.. That would be just about the worst thing that could happen to us right now! She said she was going to wait until we moved out when I talked to her this past summer.. But with our rent being weeks late the past few months I can only imagine what she is thinking.. Plus she got the letter from the City, ( boat & trailer in front yard) and I don’t think she was happy about that..

Don’t stress. He only gives us what we can handle.. A baby in the next week or two would be a great blessing! He is teaching us great patients…

Anthony has a list of work that he is going to be doing soon.. He is still just waiting for someone one else to do theirs so that he can move forward… Today while I was in tears over the stupid bills he was the positive one and said.. Pretty soon we are going to be stressed because there is so much work.. And he told me he loved me then left… He has a few projects that he is trying to finish.. But every time he gets there, there seems to be another problem.. I am at the point where I say WHO cares.. WALK AWAY! but Anthony is to honest and hard-working! and lets people walk all over him.. Pray that he will be done on Friday so he can focus on some other stuff..

I feel like this week has gone by so quickly.. I guess it does when its jam backed with stuff to do…

The kids had Monday off from school, so we all went to the Oakland Zoo… It was nice to get out of the house and be as a family…

Anthony had baseball practice after and took the three older kids.. The younger ones and I stayed home to ‘try’ to clean the house..

Anthony had all week off pretty much.. He ran around here and they’re doing some small daycare stuff.. & he made some valances in our front yard that he has been putting off for some time now.. But they are done and I can’t wait to have my own house so he can make us some…

So Tuesday (i can’t remember what we did Tuesday) ..

Weds was early day.. We spent the day outside.. It was so nice and warm… Ava sells Girl Scout cookies… So I walked her up and down our street.. We did pretty good for only doing one street.. Then Marissa had a Church thing to do later on in the evening.. Devun had Baseball practice.. The younger kids had there week visit from Rachel and enjoyed playing with her.. I was able to do some house cleaning..

Thursday Zack had is pinewood derby… I was able to stay for half hour of it.. Then I headed out to Walnut Creek for a Relief Society dinner and listen to some speakers talk about adversity…. Wow, I should NOT be complaining about my life!!!!

Friday – Devun had baseball practice at Mt View. So the girls and I went and set up a booth to sell the rest of Ava’s girl scout cookies… Anthony, Sam & Zack played at the school & watched Devun (so he did have support).. But we sold all but 8 boxes YEA!!! she reached her goal of 100 boxes of cookies, and next week we will do another booth with the rest of the Girl scout to try to sell all that we have..

Saturday we go up early and cleaned the back yard.. Yippee…. It has looked so bad for so long… So instead of asking Anthony to help clean it up, I told him he was helping clean it up… We got a TON of weeds pulled.. All kids helped Even Sam.. And we had a good time! it was such a nice morning…

Then we all headed to Marissa & Devuns Baseball practice… it cooled down a lot. So I was very grateful for it to be over 3 hours later! one thing that sucks with having your husband be coach/manager of a team… He wants to go forever teaching and training and most parents like me just want to go home!  We came home, and I passed out for awhile.. I forgot to mention I woke up that morning at 4:30 AM… I couldn’t sleep… My kitchen had both sinks FULL of dishes (dish washer is broken)… So after about half hour of tossing and turning I got up and washed ALL the dishes, and then did some laundry… Folding and washing… Cleaned the play room… And then was ready to go back to bed.. For all of an hour… I went to lay down as Aubrey & Ava got up to start their morning arguments.. Not much sleep happening for me…

went to be last night freezing… Are heater is NOT working again… This time there is NO water pressure.. So most likely a leak in a pipe under the house..

Went to Church today…. Sam has it down.. right after sacrament, he acts up so he can play in the hall with other kids..

now I am home. having fun contractions… Finally I am seeing some signs that this baby is coming soon… I am thinking of taking the smaller kids to the Zoo on Tuesday/thursday to see if walking with help with anything.. Anthony has a few days of work to do this week.. And he was nice enough to schedule them on Tuesday & Thursday (when Aubrey doesn’t have preschool).. He has been such a huge help for me these past few months.. Talking the kids to school.. He even takes Aubrey & her best friend to preschool on Fridays for me… He says he hates it when the mom’s talk to him like he is one of the moms.. But only a few more weeks and I’ll be back to normal…

I lay in bed awake almost all night… And it feels like once 6 hits I finally am able to fall asleep… He hears me in the bathroom and walking around the house and doesn’t even ask it I need help in the morning, He just does it (he knows I need sleep).. I am very grateful for him …

Other upsetting news; as we where in the front yard this week.. (friday) we got a visit from the City.. It would seem our neighbor has complained on us again.. This time she knew the code that we where in noncompliance with, and told us we have 30 days to move our trailer or build a fence around it.. (which would cost 1000, and we don’t have). She told us we could switch the boat and the trailer out of the garage every 3 days.. But Anthony doesn’t think he has that in him..  All I can say, is I can’t wait until we can move!!!!

I wanted to sit down and write this post on Sunday, but fell victim to a nap instead…

I just love going to Church and being able to be taught things & to be able to actually fill the spirit testify to me the truths that I have heard…

I went to Anthony’s class.. It was on keeping the Sabbath day holy…. Sunday is a day of rest.. But not rest from what most believe.. A rest form the outside world, and a day to dedicate to doing the lords work..

Ideas: Visiting/ home teaching ( I really need to start doing that again).

Visiting the family, the sick or elderly….

Working on Family History stuff

Reading scriptures or even reading good wholesome books

it’s a day to turn our hearts away from what WE want, and to serve others..

At one point Sunday in our house was baking day… The girls and I would bake a treat and then give them to friends, family or neighbors.. We did this for a few months, and it was so nice to see that we brighten someone else’s day… Why did we stop? I love to bake.. In fact, that is one thing I am looking forward to doing again once I have this baby… (it’s really hard for me to stand on my feet for to long of a time)…

Other things that I love doing once I do it is family History… I got so many names from Anthony’s grandparents & Kim and Marks Side.. I can’t believe all the names I have.. And when I started working on it, Kim (Anthony’s mom) got interested in it and began doing her line.. She has SOOOO much that I need to get from her… And all is I have to say is Laziness has stopped me from doing it..

Anthony reads to the kids every sunday.. They just finished up the 2 book to Red pyramid.. The 3 one doesn’t come out until May.. So they have to find something to read in the meant time.. But they love doing this.. They read for hours out load on the sofa.. (why can’t we read scriptures for hours?)

We try not to watch Tv… I have Church DVDs that the kids can watch, but they have seen them so many times… THey have lost interest.. I really need to get my little ones watching them! THe past sunday Ruth was on tv. So Anthony, Marissa and I watched it.. I think stuff like that is OK…

So that is what we learned the 2nd hour..

The 3rd hour we talked about the restoration, and how it has effected our life..

Over and Over again I felt the spirit reminding me of what I already knew..  One problem I often have is I forget that the prophets and human just like us. They make mistakes just as we do.. So when Joseph Smith was 14 years old and received a vision from heavenly father & Jesus and then nothing for years.. I am sure it was easy to be tempted and goof up… And he admits in his history that he did make mistakes…

When we , Devun and I was working on his Joseph Smith project last year. I read in his mothers journal how when he came home he was so happy, and he knew the lord loved him… I had the same feelings when I had a spiritual experience.. I couldn’t believe it was happening but yet I knew that it was.. I what was told to me did happen very quickly even.. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, yet a few people who I did tell didn’t believe me.. Or didn’t care… But I knew it happened and the lord knew it and it was what I needed to hear.

Anyways, I am just rambling… I just love going to Relief Society each sunday and learning and having the spirit testify to me what I am learning is true.. I am so grateful to have the gospel in my life. The lord knows me, he knows what I have been through & what I am going through.. He knows how strong I am, and he sends help for me when I am weak… (which has been more than strong these past few weeks)..

I am grateful for him hearing me when I pray for help, and sending love ones to help me..

Just today I was driving in my car thinking of all the stuff friends, family and neighbors have given me with a thankful attitude, and thinking I need to get a big swing, and a Car seat and I will be set.. But of course the Swing could wait until after she comes home… Not even 3 hours later my new neighbors from across the street that I don’t even know asked me if I wanted there swing. Without even praying and asking, but being grateful for what I have I was able to get even more… Oh I am so grateful!  He does watch out for us, and he knows us…

I can’t wait until I have this baby & am back to normal and can start serving others the way so many have served me!

Just a few more weeks left and I will be holding my little girl in my arms..  I have been washing her clothes.. My sister just sent me a BIG box in the mail of her nieces 0-3 months clothes… Anthony’s friend gave us a ton of his daughters clothes too.. I feel so overwhelmed with all these little outfits, and just to think a few weeks ago I had no idea what she was going to wear…

The neighbor gave me a swing, and a friend from church gave me a bassinet.. All are washed and ready for her to enjoy..  We still need to get the car seat and load up on diapers but other than that she has stuff waiting for her.. (at least for the next 3 months).

I have been having a lot of contractions the past few days that have been very painful…. and I know are doing something…  I have a drs appointment in 9 days, and he will check me…

I know that I will be about 36 weeks than, but I am hoping progress will have been made!

Because………

My acid reflex is getting worse, or the meds just aren’t working anymore.. I may have taken them too long.. Or she is just really big making the condition worse…. My energy level has declined, leaving my house in shambles… I can do 1 room a day.

I can’t sleep at night, at all! Spent the past two nights vomiting all night long! Which kept Anthony up too..

I can’t walk, my sciatica is getting worse.. And then my right wrist is throbbing all day long.. Its worse in the morning and mid night… I wake up in pain when I lay my head on it, or move it….

So yes, I want to hold my baby… I want to be able to enjoy her in my arms, and stop having all these fun pregnancy symptoms….. I will have to wait a few mores weeks.. But I am very excited for this journey to end and a new one to begin…

We, Anthony and I took the kids to the zoo yesterday for president day…
Sam had a blast! He loves all animals but like Aubrey the elephants & monkeys were his favorite.

The older kids like looking and moving on to the next exhibit, I think they have been there too many times.

I was hoping all the walking would help the baby to drop and possibly start to make progression to labor… But after walk up hills and down the hills, the only thing causing pain was my sciatica… I couldn’t walk at all Once I got home …

I wish I could share some photos, but I took the memory card out of my camera to download pictures of Marissa’s play and never put it back. So much to my surprise I had a camera but no way to take the photos… Oh well. We have the year membership, so I’m sure will be back!

Kids are all doing good! Anthony quoted 3 kitchens this week… Hopefully he will be able to start something soon. We have a few other projects that are on hold as well…

Sent my daycare paper work in again… Hoping that everything will come together, so that once I have the baby I can start..
Did our taxes and we REALLY need that extra income right about now…. Not to mention to try and buy a house this year for a bigger tax right off..

Anyways, that’s about it! Dr appointment a week from Friday. Keep u posted

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Last night Marissa was in a play called Rats… She as you can see in the photos was a rat herself and did a great job.. The show was cute & quick…

We also went to Monterey a few weekends ago.. We wanted to ride our bikes on the beach. But I lasted about ten mins and then had to go to the beach and sit down with the little ones.. Anthony took the older kids with him and went on a longer ride (thats why, there aren’t very much pictures of the older kids.. But they where there).

Yesterday I had my fourth ultra sound if you count the very first one to check for heart beat…

I can’t believe how much the baby has grown, and technology. The few pictures that they could get really look like a baby.. Not a skeleton like before.. But I guess she has gained a lot of weight since last time..

Ultra Sound Finding:  Baby has a lot of hair on her head… Not surprised all my babies came out with black hair..

The baby is weighing in at 4 pounds 13 oz… That is almost 5 pounds.

She is measuring a week and a half bigger than she should… So No, my baby has NOT stopped growing.. in fact, she is bigger than she should be..

Hopefully that will mean she will come early & healthy.. I had a dream last night that I need to start walking if I want her to come in the next few weeks..

Sam & Aubrey got to go to the Ultra Sound which I will NEVER do again.. It was clear sam was very tiered. He cried the whole time.. Aubrey just wanted to see the baby.

The baby was asleep with her face right next to my Uterus, so we could only see half of it. But the half looked just like the rest of our babies.. She is going to have the same cubby nose…

I can’t wait until she is out of my belly and in my arms.. I know it will be here soon. But for those of you who really know me.. I have very little patience.. And when I am this uncomfortable  it’s really hard to wait that extra 5 weeks or so…  I know when she gets here I am going to start saying. .Oh that seemed fast. But really it has been a long haul. And I just want to see her and make sure she is healthy….

It seems like every week on Baby Center.com it warns us moms of some kind of pain that will come.. This week it was swelling and pain in the arms and wrests.. Sure enough the past three days I have woken up in the middle of the night with great pain in my wrist and when I move my thumb. Lucky for me it goes away towards the end of the day. But then again in the next early morning I walk up with the same pain… Yesterday it hurt so bad Anthony had to brush my hair for me when I got out of the shower..

Have I told you lately how much I love my husband? I really do love him so much. Even though he is almost at his toll with this pregnancy, he has been there to help me every way he can… And he like me can’t wait for her to be out and about! The past few days he has been home with me… It’s crazy how much work he has lined up, but EVERYTHING is waiting on SOMETHING/SOMEONE…. It is truly frustrating.. But we have seen a lot of miracles come from it, and we are truly grateful that we have the lord on our side!

Hopefully today & Monday he will be able to finish up the daycare center… He was told by the school that he couldn’t work on site during school hours, so we only a day or two left to work & get paid he was kick off until the weekend… Hopefully it will be done this weekend so we can pay our bills… Wed he goes out to Atherton to finish up that huge project once and for all! Oh what a pain that has been, and it will be nice when it’s over…

On another note, I can’t wait until we can move out of this neighborhood! Ok, remember how I wrote a few days ago we needed to take the boat out of the garage so we could clean the garage.. Instead we ended up going out on the boat.. ETC.. Well after that we started to clean out the garage a little here and there… Wed night we finished it and Thursday we put it back into the Garage. (which we were planning on doing, we don’t want the boat to get rained on and ruined, its something we plan on having for a long time!) Anyways Thursday night we get a letter from the city telling us we have to move the boat out of the drive way, because we are in some kind of violation.. REALLY a WEEK and they are sending us a letter! They also sent one to our landlord, and I can only think of what they are thinking of… People around her really have NO life… I really fill sorry for them..  Anyways, at least the boat was back in the garage before I got the letter. ERRRR

Anyways, other than that I guess I am grateful that we still have a house that we can live in big or small, it’s a roof over our heads.

other than that  not much is new.. The kids start baseball practice to-day.. 2 & 4… pretty late I think, but it’s just until the season starts.

I got to go, my wrist hurts… hopefully I will be able to write soon later.

Aubrey reminds me of me when I was here age.. She LOVES playing with her dolls.. She has a dozen of them, and dresses them up, holds them and just loves them..

Last week Anthony’s friend Jared gave him 3 HUGE bags of baby clothes 0-2 years.. I have been washing them & going through them… Aubrey comes and sits next to me every time and just laughs “mom, this is so cute, it’s going to look so cute on the baby”. a few things I have put in the DI pile which has offended her.. Mom that’s cute! I have given her a few bibs that she can have for her dolls & she has just been in Heaven..

I remember when I had Sam, None of the kids wanted to hold him while I tried to make dinner or if I had to do something.. Aubrey had brought him into the front room a few times when he was asleep in the back room.. To this day, I can’t believe he is as smart as he is will all the drops to the head  remember she was only 2 at the time..  She has already told me she is going to carry the baby all around.. I had to remind her she has to sit and hold the baby because she will still be heavy.. But I don’t think I will have a problem fixing dinner. I think I will have all the help I need with just her!

She is a really good big sister and I can’t wait to see her and the baby together..

Today in the car sam said, I won’t hurt the baby yet.. She is going to be too little..

At Costco yesterday he kicked me in my belly and said. Mom, I didn’t kick you, I kicked the baby because she always kicks you! Oh I think I may have some problems with him and her.. But he is cute when he wants to be.. He has given her lots of kisses! and today at the Dr appointment he wanted to see her on the monitor.. I told him that we would listen to her heart, but couldn’t see her until she was born.. (than the dr told me I would be having one more ultra sound). They both are happy about that, and I have to admit I am too.. It’s just a few more weeks and it will ALL be over!!! And our new life will begin.

Today I had my routine Dr visit. Baby sounds good on the monitor.. Doctor’s words” only 6 more weeks to go”.. .. He had me make an appointment for 4 weeks.. I also “get” to have another ultra sound… I guess because of all the blood test and results the baby could stop growing at this point. So its routine to have a follow-up appointment to make sure everything is ok.. So they should be calling me… I was glad that he told me they would be calling.. The last few calls wore very unexpected, and did not give me a happy feeling…

Anthony came with me, and we brought Sam & Aubrey.. Aubrey needed her shots to start school & Sam needed his second flu shot.. So we killed 3 birds with one stone.. I also picked up the kids physical so they can play baseball.. That will be started pretty soon

Anyways, Sam went first with his shots.. He sat on my lap and was fine during the cleaning.. But once she put the needles in his leg he screamed.. But quit crying very quickly… Anthony was so proud of him.. Anthony hadn’t been with me since Devun was getting his shots 8 years ago..

Anthony is afraid of needles  himself & always has been.. WHen Aubrey said she wanted to seat on his lap instead of mine he was a little scared.. Again Aubrey was fine up until she got stuck.. She started screaming and Sam watching her in pain He was actually shaking with fear for her.. SO we left the room while Aubrey got her other 4 shots and went to get a FOOTBALL..

Right now Kaiser is giving footballs away for their new promotion.. we had been there for about an hour between my appoint and the shots and the kids saw a million kids walking around with the footballs.. Sam really wanted one.

So we ran to get one for him, and he needed to get Aubrey one.. HE grabbed it and went running through the hallways screaming “HERE AUBREY HERE AUBREY”.. He was very worried about her, and she was happy once she got the football and a sticker.. No more shots for her until Middle School …. I really hate getting my kids Shots.. I understand why we do it, but still watching them in pain is so sad for me..

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On another note… I women in my church has giving me such a great gift…. Her daughters help as well as her own… Wed & Thurs Rachael comes over to play with the kids for a few hours in the front yard.. This has been so nice for me.. They go to bed early because of all the exercise and they are really happy, which makes me happy! Yesterday we where all in the front yard playing and Rachel drove up with her mom.. I said “Sam who is that”? He got the biggest smile on his face and went running over to her! It was priceless, and makes my heart so soft.. This has really been a blessing! Her mom has also brought dinner in a few times and last week watched a few little ones while I was at a scout meeting & Anthony and Devun at a basketball game.. Thank you guys so much! You truly have brighten my life..

Other than that, I have been wanting to write about a stake fireside I went to last Sunday.. But I have waiting so long to write it I have forgotten a lot that hit the heart.. I did take very small amounts of notes that I will share..

Don’t quote me

* Life is not always as we plan it to be.. But the way life turns out is still just as good!

President Hunt talked about being INSPIRED.. All ideas are good ideas, but we need to be in a place that we can fill inspired of a good idea.. He gave several examples of men & women that where inspired to start things as a Church that were not prophets or apostles ..

Family night, early morning  Seminar, young single adults, addition recovery program, sunday school, primary, Girls Camp, institute of Religion, welfare program..

He also said if we fill the adversary coming then we should know we are on the right track.. And to remember we are doing GOD’s work, Not ours. WE are employees of the Savior and if we seek answers we will be guided and informed by him.

As we found out on Monday night, We are stronger together than alone!

I am so glad that I went to the fireside.. Sister hunt talked about a trip back east she took with her best friend and there 11 kids,, GOne for 34 days.. And all the ups and downs..
She talked about NOT giving up.

I am trying to find JOY in all things.. I diffidently have Joy with my Children! I know once I have this baby things will be a lot different! And I also know everything I am going through mentally and physically will all be worth it once I hold my little baby.. Its sometimes just hard to see it when I feel the way I do.